If you feel the worlds expectations bearing down on you and that you must have a plan, a purpose, a big dream, know that you are not alone. Feeling lost and unsure about what path to take is a place most of us will experience, if not in college then in our 30s, 40s, or even 50s.
If you feel an immense need to find your purpose, then read more in the Finding Purpose Series. The first part focuses on knowing yourself. If you don’t know who you are then how will you be able to figure out what has meaning, and purpose for your life.
Part two of the Finding Purpose Series asks you to investigate who you want to be. We all have some aspirations or ideas of where we hope our future selves will be at the end of this year, in 10 years or for retirement. When you know who you want to become even on a simple level such as remaining positive and having a good heart, you can set yourself on that path.
The third part asks you to discover what you want to feel and tells you how to experience those feelings on a daily basis. You may not have a master plan after going through the series, but you will be more clear on what you want out of life and what paths are not for you.
If you are still needing some comfort in a time when you are feeling lost and doubtful, read on.
What are you feeling?
I ask what are you feeling because we often feel different negative emotions from not having a path or purpose for specific reasons. There is expectation that we are putting on ourselves, or by others that lead us to fear. That fear manifests and shows up when we are making choices and a fear of not making the “right” choice.
When we compare ourselves, we are often just hoping to make it in the race so that we don’t feel left out and can have something to bring to the table. Comparison leads to a frenzied sense insecurity to find anything that will fit us, so that we can make a plan and choose a path. Comparison can also lead to a feeling of defeat and complacency. That feeling that there is no path for you and you might as well just give up and stumble along through life.
So, what are you feeling? Pressure, insecurity, vulnerability, like giving up, despair, anxiety, worry?
I have felt all of these emotions at different times in my life. College, I knew I was supposed to have a plan when I left. I knew I didn’t want to work so I chose to go to law school. No, it wasn’t something I especially wanted to do, but it eased the stress and anxiety about not having a plan. Plus, I was able to meet and exceed expectations. So, I thought it would all work out, because the negative emotions had be laid to rest.
Law school was not my finest hour which you can read more about here. Know that even though it appeared I had a path chosen, I still had to choose a specific type of law to practice. I didn’t actually like the law field and so picking a topic to focus on was a struggle. Getting out of law school and realizing I needed to have a plan only added to the despair I felt. If you know my story, you know that I don’t practice law anymore and chose a completely different path in life, blogging.
So, yes after a windy path of choosing a career that wasn’t for me and living in a place of constant anxiety and depression, I understand. Know that where ever you are someone else has been there, been just as lost, worried, and insecure. You are not alone.
If you are feeling the pressure, take a deep breath and know that you can create greatness. You have all your whole life to do it. It doesn't have to happen right now, like I thought it did.
Your Path Is Your Own
You have a unique path that belongs to you. You will have experiences and feelings that will mold you into the person you need to be to find your calling and to live intentionally in it. So, yes, right now you can go down that rabbit hole of despair or anxiety. Or, you can take a couple of deep breathes and take a look around yourself.
Ask yourself some questions. What are you happy with and what are you not? Who do you want to be in 20 years? Yes, you may not have a career path set in stone yet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still work towards being the best you in today and for tomorrow.
You can bring your confidence, your smile, your intuitive nature, your spirit, joy, and so much more to every situation. You don’t need a plan or a path to be a bad ass! Those things are nice, but you can still choose to be one every day.
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Its Okay To Not Have A Plan
Know that you may feel like you are wondering and have no destination. But, you are on a path. You are on one of your own making. You may not have a plan for the future, which is okay. But you are on a path that you are creating.
It is ridiculous to think that you will have everything planned out in your 20s or even 30s. Plans usually have to adapt and change frequently. A plan isn’t what you need. Knowing yourself and pushing yourself to create and be the person you want to be should be your focus.
If you want to be the creative, who is always creating, go create. Pick up a block of clay, or a pencil and paper. You don’t have to know what you want to do, you can just go out there and try it.
Know that many mistakes and windy paths led me to my “path.” That is often how it goes. So, start making moves, taking risks, and jumping in. Enjoy each day. Worrying about tomorrow too much will take away from today.
It is okay that you feel lost, and purposeless. Many great individuals didn’t figure out there true calling till they were in their 30s, 40s and even 50s. So, you might some trying and failing, character building moments, and relationships that alter your life, ahead of you that make you ready to grab a hold of your passion when it pops in front of you.
Spend your energy now on enjoying today. Don’t allow pressures of figuring out your future rob you of today. So, go out there and be brave, bold, beautiful and ready to experience life.