Self-love can at times be amorphous and hard to wrap our heads around. It means loving ourselves unconditionally, through all the mess ups, failures, shit storms that we walk through. On a day to day basis it can be hard to actively pursue a loving relationship with ourselves, I mean there is work, bills, dishes, and washing the dog. Adding in loving yourself seems like another tasks to add to the list.
Loving yourself can easily fall to the background. Since love is a verb, it means taking time, and actions in pursuit of ourselves. It can seem a bit weird, selfish and wrong to do such things. But, self-love will empower you, enlighten you, and strengthen your resolve in your greatness. There are no downsides to nurturing the love you have for yourself.
I have collected 8 tips to help you cultivate your self-love. Try them and let me know if you don’t feel more loved, accepted and nurtured, by non other than yourself.
dont compare yourself to others
When we compare ourselves to others we quickly start pointing out our flaws. It is great to have admiration and respect for another person. To have a role model that you are trying to emulate is also how we grow. But, to compare and shoot ourselves down for not being where someone else is, is not good.
If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, I highly suggest you stop following those people on social media. Limit your interactions with those people and get back to you. You are on your own journey. Trust me when I say someone is comparing themselves to you.
You know that your life is flawed. It is growing changing and evolving. Thats the same thing for every single person we compare ourselves to. They are showing us their best sides right now, but we are missing the sweat, toil, mistakes, and failures.
Continue to focus on your strengths, your goals, and your journey. It won’t be like others. Be present to what greatness you have to offer to the world. Focus on yourself and your journey.
know you are worth loving
The love we often seek from others, has to be fulfilled by us or we will never feel like our cup is full. We will continue to seek out affirmation and signs of love from others. When you accept that you are worth loving and know it as truth, you stop chasing after love and acceptance.
If you don’t believe that you are worth loving, then people will believe the same thing. Knowing that you are of great value and worth means that your standards for yourself will sky rocket. How you treat yourself will change.
You won’t stand for bullying or negative comments, even from yourself. Knowing that you are worth loving and embracing will change the way you see verb love. So, I encourage to continuously affirm that you are worth loving. Because you are.
When you love yourself, you let yourself have fun, be goofy, and laugh. Love yourself enough to let go and enjoy life. When opportunities arise for fun, leap on them. Show yourself some love and have some fun.
have Healthy boundaries
Believe it or not, being able to say no to others is a huge defining act that shows self-love. Being able to draw a line of whats okay and whats not takes a whole lot of guts, self-respect, and self-commitment.
Establishing boundaries can disrupt a lot of relationships. But, establishing healthy boundaries for yourself can be freeing and empowering. You are dictating what is okay and not okay for you in a relationship.
This can be challenging to do. So, I suggest you read What Are Boundaries and How To Keep Them. This post goes in detail about creating healthy boundaries and keeping them even through challenging situations.
Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean that you somehow let yourself off the hook. When you forgive others it doesn’t necessarily mean everything is erased and forgotten. When you are able to forgive yourself you acknowledge what took place. You will take responsibility for what happen. Then you move forward.
This isn’t about rehashing or reliving an experience over and over till you are bloodied and bruised. You don’t need to inflict more wounds to make sure that the same mistakes don’t happen again. It often just fuels the fire of repeating the same mistakes. So, forgive yourself and move forward.
get to know Yourself through self-reflection and Exploration
Just like you got to know your friends, your significant other or your siblings, get to know yourself. You are a part of that group of loved ones that deserves attention and exploration.
What you may discover is some pretty amazing things about yourself. You may discover new hobbies, interests, and soft parts that have been hidden away for a long time. Embrace the you, you discover. Be kind and gentle.
Have fun in this exploration. This is purposeful time to do what you want to do. Push your boundaries and limits. With everything you discover, love it and embrace it.
commit to loving yourself
Choose now to make the change to love yourself. It doesn’t take you pledging to the world. Just a thought, “I love myself.” Don’t wait for when you are done beating yourself up or having overcome this current challenge. Start now.
When you love yourself you commit to your self-care. Self-love means realizing that you have needs that need to be met. You need space to get clarity and peace, just as much as you need dinners out with friends to nourish your relationships.
Realize that self-care says that you have needs you have acknowledged. You respect that your self gets depleted and requires certain things to replenish and nourish it. This is not selfish. It is one of the biggest ways to say you respect yourself, every part of you.
Try the 7 Day Self-Care Challenge to explore your self-care needs a little more.
7 Day Email Self-Care Challenge
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Self-love is beautiful. When you nurture it, it will show up in every area of your life. From the way you will allow others to speak to you, your work, relationships, and even how you look at yourself in the mirror. You are a beautifully flawed, wounded, courageous, and empowered human being, worth so much self-love. So start loving yourself even more today.